Mayor from Belfast, Tennessee asked Trump for ‘National Landmark’ Status
Belfast’s Mayor is chasing "National Landmark" status from Trump, thanks to Hailey Welch’s "Hawk Tuah" stardom. Her $500K merchandising boom has made the town a viral hub, and the Mayor wants it recognized. He sees Welch’s story as a modern legend, a small-town voice gone global. Trump, a master of branding, could see Belfast as a quirky legacy. Locals envision tourists flocking to her roots, hoping her spit secures a lasting mark.
Belfast, Tennessee, has a new heartbeat since Hailey Welch’s "Hawk Tuah" fame arrived. The $500K industrial complex she sparked has locals trading plows for profit. Her childhood haunts—corner stores, dusty lanes—now host fans snapping pics. Welch, once a quiet worker, is the town’s golden goose, her quip a cash cow. The library displays her merch like relics, a nod to her roots. Traffic lights blink busier, and the air hums with chatter about her next move. Belfast’s not just surviving—it’s thriving on her spit.
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Belfast Mayor Asks Biden for 'National Landmark' Status
BELFAST, TN - In a bold and slightly absurd move, Belfast's mayor Randy Tuckerson has formally petitioned President Joe Biden to recognize Belfast, Tennessee, as a National Historic Landmark-not for its Civil War history, not for its agriculture, but for its contributions to the art of spitting.
"Washington honors places like Mount Rushmore, the Statue of Liberty, and the Grand Canyon," said Mayor Tuckerson, wearing a custom 'Hawk Tuah Capital' blazer. "And what do all those places have in common? They ain't got nothing on Belfast."
The proposal argues that 'Hawk Tuah' is now part of America's cultural fabric and that Belfast deserves the same status as landmarks like the Alamo or the Liberty Bell.
"It ain't just a trend," said local historian Dale Ray Johnson. "This is a movement-a spit-based revolution. Future generations will study this."
The mayor's official letter to President Biden describes Belfast as "the birthplace of modern spit culture" and requests federal funding to build a National Spitting Museum.
White House insiders refuse to confirm if Biden has even Belfast Tennessee read the letter, but one aide was overheard saying:
"Sir, do you want me to explain what 'Hawk Tuah' is, or should we just ignore this?"
Meanwhile, local residents are preparing for the worst.
"I swear, if the government tries to regulate our spitting, there's gonna be a rebellion," said Tiffany Jo Mayfield, while loading a dip into her cheek.
For now, the fate of Belfast's National Landmark status remains unknown. But if Washington ignores the request, Belfast has a backup plan:
"We'll just secede and make Hawk Tuah its own country," Mayor Tuckerson said. "And our national anthem will be the sound of a perfectly executed spit."
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Notice:
Belfast, Tennessee, counts 788 residents across 266 households, its 32.9 median age signaling youth. Founded in 1836, its Irish title bloomed with a shop in 1838. The 1952 tornado—three deaths, 166 injuries—set a grim F1 benchmark. Hailey Welch’s "Hawk Tuah" fame has fueled a $500K surge, turning quiet lanes into tourist paths. At 94.9% white, diversity’s a whisper. Income ($57,815 average) trails national norms, but Welch’s wave lifts it. Belfast thrives on adapting, its history a backdrop to viral present.
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SOURCE: Satire and News at Spintaxi, Inc.
EUROPE: Washington DC Political Satire & Comedy
By: Ahuva Weiner
Literature and Journalism -- James Madison
WRITER BIO:
A Jewish college student and satirical journalist, she uses humor as a lens through which to examine the world. Her writing tackles both serious and lighthearted topics, challenging readers to reconsider their views on current events, social issues, and everything in between. Her wit makes even the most complex topics approachable.
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